Ask Dr. Dar: I have much to offer like the girls in the fairy tales, so when will it be my time to ride off into the sunset?
As a child, I loved all of the Disney princesses. From Snow White to Pocahontas all the way to Mulan and Cinderella, I was quite infatuated with their love stories. Although I knew they were cartoons with fictitious story lines, something deep inside believed I could live out their fairy tale romance. If Disney could paint such a beautiful portrait of a “happy ending”, why couldn’t I?
After watching each story, I recall telling my mother, “that will be me one day”. Early on, she would laugh. That laugh grew to a smile which soon became a frown. She replied one day in the most direct way that she could, “Girl you better stop living in that fantasy world. Those are cartoons. You are a real person. Nothing in this world, including love, will come easy.” And that was that.
Naturally my dreams were crushed, but mother knows best, right? The teenage years would come and go along with failed relationships. I worked so hard to hold on to each romance and they all slipped through my fingers. My aggressiveness along with a harsh approach has pushed men away. It’s like I exude some sort of a man repellent.
Now in my adult years I’m searching for the perfect ending. I am sure that my mother’s early advice wasn’t there to harm me, but now as a woman, I control my fate. I have much to offer like the girls in the fairytales, so when will it be my time to ride off into the sunset?
Dear Fairy Tale lover,
Your time to ride off into the sunset is NOW!
Fairy tales were first created by authors through their dream. They then had to write the story, create all the pictures, write the script, hire the actors for voice overs, film each frame, put the film together, edit it to perfection, advertise the film, promote it, get the actors to promote it, get it into theaters, pay everyone, manage budgets, etc. A lot of work went into creating the fairy tale from start to happily ever after…in fact a lot of work that goes into relationships as well.
To have your own fairy tale, you must first dream it, then write your story, then take positive action every day towards your dream. Let go of the thoughts and fears that are holding you back. I hear singles say things like: Dating is hard, there are no good men or women out there, I have been hurt and am not going to put myself out there, etc. While I acknowledge your experience is real, I also say that the story you are writing in your life is what is creating your reality. I suggest you write a different story than the one your mind is telling you to create. If you believe there are no good men out there, then you will naturally start looking at men who are a better fit for you. Write your fairy tale story instead of using someone else’s story! You can start today by getting a copy of Stop Being Single Now.
Helping smart people find and create lasting relationships.