The Case for Relationship Coaching

We have developed a “need” to be happy and have a decreasing tolerance for delayed gratification.  When we are in an unhappy relationship most of us attempt to improve it and eventually leave if it doesn’t get better.  A generation or two ago, men and women dated, married, had families, and rarely divorced. Everyone seemed to know the rules and followed them. “Fulfillment” was not a priority and unhappiness was not cause for divorce…Then the rules changed; life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy, but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.

Get a grip on these facts:

• There are more single people today than ever in history – 82 million in the U.S., 40% of the adult population (28% in 1970)
• Over 25% of households are single occupant households (17% in 1970)
• 53% of households are married couples (70% in 1970)
• The marriage rate is decreasing, and is at its lowest in 30 years
• The divorce rate has remained stable since 1988
• While the exact divorce rate is a matter of debate, experts agree that somewhere between 40 and 60% of all marriages will end in divorce, and that for every marriage there is about one divorce
• Co-habitation is increasing and becoming the norm, whereas 40 years ago it was a rare occurrence
• The percentage of young adults who say that having a good marriage is extremely important to them is increasing (94% in one study)
• The majority of first-born children are now conceived by, or born to, unmarried parents
• Half of all children will spend some time in a single parent family
• Children who live in single parent families have a higher incidence of behavioral problems, likelihood of dropping out of school, drug or alcohol abuse, and divorcing later in life
• 43% of first marriages end within 15 years
• 39% of remarriages end within 10 years
• More than 85% of all adults marry at least once
• Second and third marriages have a higher incidence of failure

A summary of a 1999 study by David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the National Marriage Project of Rutgers University on “The State Of Our Unions: The Social Health Of Marriage in America” states:

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