The Biography channel on cable is one of our favorite channels.  We caught a biography on Reba McIntyre recently.  She said many wise things…this one stands out the most:

"Love is icing on the cake, but if you don't have respect, it is over"

I don't see this as an absolute because respect ebbs and flows in relationships – there are times when you may not respect something your partner did or said, that does not mean there is no respect at all.  A sure sign that the relationship is in trouble is when respect is consistently not present, when you look or think of your partner with disdain or ickyness, a sick feeling in your gut every day.  I often get asked if Respect can be gained when the relationship is in distress and respect is completely missing.  It is a long road to recovery and is possible with a great deal of commitment to the relationship and the marriage by both parties as well as friends and family with professional help in showing the couple where and how to re-instill respect. I have to admit that I agree with Reba, when Respect is not consistently present, it is a sign that the relationship is over.  Being disrespectful consistently = over.

Thank you Reba for your wisdom,
Dr. Dar 

 

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