I have worked with hundreds of men to provide marriage advice and solutions.
They all wanted to know whether they were in marriage crisis or not, whether what they were dealing with was normal, or more importantly, if their needs were reasonable or if something was wrong with them.
As a result, I came up with a simple chart so that men could figure out what stage they are of marriage crisis they are in…as you read this chart, please note that every zone can benefit from relationship or marriage advice for men, counseling and coaching.
Accept the need for marriage advice for men
The sooner you acknowledge you cannot do everything perfectly and take action to seek out professional guidance, the sooner the success of your relationship is guaranteed and marriage crisis is avoided. Seeking assistance is not a negative stamp on you, your spouse ,or your marriage. It simply differentiates you from others who will wait 7 or more years to take action to solve marital issues which by then are so escalated that they take much longer to resolve.
Men feel guilty or incompetent because they expect themselves to know how to fix their issues and marriage crisis on their own with family or friends…or that they are newlyweds and it would look really bad to get help so early in the marriage because newlyweds are not supposed to experience marriage crisis so soon…or they should know better after being married for so many years.
The truth is that no one has educated you on how to succeed in a relationship, there was no training manual. You did not attend school to learn advanced love communication techniques, not did you learn how to resolve conflict or the marriage crisis in your relationship. In addition to that, it is hard to see things clearly in the midst of a marriage crisis nor can you be objective when you are in a relationship, especially with the one you love. Marriage Crisis issues add a large layer of complexity that when mitigated by a Relationship Coach can alleviate the pressure, provide simple and quick solutions to implement, and provide you with new communication and coping strategies to move from marriage crisis to marriage utopia.
Listed below are the Marriage Crisis zones I have identified in my work and marriage advice for men:
MARRIAGE ADVICE FOR MEN
Marriage Crisis Zones
Red Zone of Marriage Crisis
|Can’t stand being in the same space as your spouse; avoids interaction with each other||Not recognizing each others feelings||You tell your friends everything is fine, but you don’t feel that way 100% of the time|
|Suffocating; feel like you cannot breathe or have no freedom to be||Live like two separate people||Having trouble integrating into married life, struggling with being who you are and who you are in the marriage; the relationship has turned into something you did not expect. Being a couple is more difficult than you thought|
|Constant arguing; verbal personal attacks – Toxic environment||Purposely arrange different schedules||Feel uncomfortable sharing opening with your partner; not able to share feelings, emotions especially on topics about your partner, marriage or intimacy|
|Lack of communication||Look outside the marriage to fill a void||Not willing to give yourself 100% to the marriage;|
|Drained energy, emotionally tired, and have just about given up||Feel like you are constantly walking on egg shells||Feeling disconnected, not sure why|
|Complete lack of motivation||Loss of purpose||Marriage duties aren’t clearly defined causing confusion|
|No emotional connection||Loss of personal identity||One or both of you is beginning to feel resentful|
|One foot out the door||Loss of identity as a couple||You don’t spend intimate time together any more|
|Abusive tendencies or fear of it getting that way (verbal)||Arguing incessantly (even nagging) over small, petty issues to get attention||Friends / family frequently comment that you’ve changed|
MARRIAGE ADVICE FOR MEN SOLUTIONS – Click here for your no cost Marriage Breakthrough Session with Dr. Dar
|It is never the couple’s intention to separate or divorce but the reality is that it happens. It is unusual for a couple to choose to separate or divorce when I work with them; however, there are some exceptions. I do assist couples in making the choice to stay together or separate. In some cases, separation is best for the couple and their families. I will continue working with you as individuals sorting through the details during the separation/divorce to co-create forward movement, assist with difficult decisions, and facilitate peace of mind. In the end, both parties agree that the best decision was made.|