How to Avoid Conflict in Relationships

Dating relationships, whether good or bad, can teach a person a lot about him or herself. New relationships can fill a person with confidence, inspiration, hope and love. However, relationships that turn negative can lead to uncertainty, shame and depression.

Therefore, it’s important to understand what constitutes healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships. It can be difficult to determine what healthy relationships are these days given the media focus on unhealthy relationships.

Communicating effectively in love relationships is often easier as long as you take the time to communicate without making assumptions. For instance, accusing someone by stating “you never listen to me,” or “you always forget to call me,” automatically puts the other person in a defensive posture right away. Instead, simply state how you feel, using I statements instead of accusing ‘You’ statements; for example: “I feel that you don’t listen to me when you get home from work because…” would be a more appropriate way of communicating; or “I get disappointed when you tell me you will call and then don’t follow through.”

The tone of your voice is very important. Avoid sarcastic remarks, putting the other person down, blaming, name-calling, criticizing, yelling or interrupting. Understanding what is fueling your emotions is important so that you can become less combative or defensive. You will be more open and honest when you admit your deepest fears and desires with your partner. Both parties should acknowledge the other’s feelings so you can become closer from sharing, brainstorming and problem solving together.

So please, before having a heated conversation, how about doing some some soul-searching, being honest about with where you are and what you are feeling, be accountable by using I statements, and then share compassionately and openly.